Thirty-five

Happy Birthday to me. Last Thursday I turned 35 years old. I had kind of a tough time with the idea of turning 35. Thirty didn't bother me, and neither have any of the birthdays since then, but thirty-five hit me harder. I'm not sure what it was. I don't really feel old, but I sure don't feel young either. Maybe it is that I work with lots of people who are at least ten years younger than I am, at least the folks on the night shift are. The day shifters fall more within my immediate age range, and in fact, several of the nurses who have a few years on me actually rolled their eyes when I mentioned my dismay at turning thirty-five. Maybe it's that I can feel my bones creak when I get out of bed, or that it takes a few steps before my feet don't hurt when I walk across the floor. Maybe it's ALL THOSE GRAY HAIRS I keep having to have hidden when I get my hair done. I don't see many wrinkles or lines yet, and I thank my mother for that. She has always looked younger than her age.

I am not one to make New Year's resolutions, because to me, a birthday is a more appropriate marker for making changes in your life. Fortunately, I don't have too many bad habits that I need to take on, but I feel I need to take some different directions in my life. It is starting to sink in that I don't get another chance at this, so I better do it right the first time. There are many areas in my life where I feel truly blessed beyond what any person has the right to expect. First, I have an amazing husband, who puts up with way more crap from me than I put up with from him. I am still stunned he hasn't thrown up his hands and run away screaming! (I guess I can thank his ex-wife for being worse than me!) I have two beautiful, wonderful, smart, funny, imaginative, healthy, strong-willed children, who try my patience daily, but whom I never get tired of hugging and kissing and guiding through the trials of everyday life. The three people I share my home and life with absolutely make my life worth living. I can't imagine making it without any one of them. I also have wonderful parents, and a great sister, as well as great parents-in-law and brothers-and-sisters-in-law. We have a nice home, a big backyard, a dopey dog, cars that run, food on the table, and warm beds to sleep in. We are living the good life, for sure. And yet, I can see room for improvement, mostly in the way I treat myself, but also in how I treat the ones I love. The first thing I have to do it stop treating my body like I can trade it in on a different one if this one wears out. I have to eat better and exercise more. In my thirty-sixth year, I resolve to make a strong effort to eat more healthy foods, lose a few pounds, and exercise three times a week. I started today, with the Couch to 5K running program, which hopefully will have me able to run 3 miles without stopping by the end of two months. I also started back on a healthier eating plan (NOT a diet), and hopefully the combination of the two will help me lose some pounds and inches.

Since those two things, exercising and eating healthier, are going to be a big challenge for me, especially now that we are hitting the holidays, I'm going to hold off on making any more big changes right now. I think that the increased exercise will help me feel better in all aspects of my life. This should lead to a happier outlook which will lead to more smiles for my husband and kiddos, which will lead to happier husband and kiddos as well! I don't imagine I will be able to adopt these changes without a hiccup or two along the way, and I am sure there will be lapses in my willpower and energy level. I am just praying that when I fall down, I can pick my self back up and start again. Here's to being 35! And here's to 35 more blessed years (and then some)!